i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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