Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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