She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
