Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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