How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
