Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
