Kiss
Puke
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
