the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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