so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
