just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
