Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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