Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Randomize
