just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
