Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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