Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
