But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We need to rekindle our bromance
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
