I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
