the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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