ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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