just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
