I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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