and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
