i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
