paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i think im in europe. pls send help
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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