Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
