hell yes lets make some ravioli
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
