If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
