we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
