You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
