I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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