if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
