The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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