do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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