I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
