Kiss
Puke
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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