So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
