i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
