don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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