you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
