Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
