you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
