I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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