Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
