I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
