why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
