she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
