True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
