Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
