I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
