that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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